THE RAWNESS of The Anonymous P.

Bigbang - "TONIGHT" Performance Practice

2011-03-17T21:48:00.000-07:00

UGGHHH

2009-11-23T19:04:00.000-08:00

Havent been up on here in a bit..

So i hate my ex and his new "thing", i doubt its really his girlfriend, they don't act like they're together. I mean... at least he doesn't treat her like he treated me. He obviously won't find another girl like me anyway, so fuck him right?

right.

He can fuck off with his bullshit, trying to get me to notice him and his "G" but, whatever - its such a fail.

Like I notice, but im not impressed. I don't see him acting the way he acted like he used to with me - so evidently she must not be better than me - regardless of her skin tone being lighter than mine... I really could care so much less.

She may be lighter than me...

But she won't make you feel the way I made you feel.

Sorry.

Try Again next time.... you'll find a bitch.

pull my shirt off.

2009-09-11T20:08:00.000-07:00

oh man.

it's like the more i try to avoid it, the easier it happens.

I never initiate action but this time I did.

I just couldn't help it, he was lying there, and I was applying lotion on his back, i mean what did he THINK was going to happen??? I just had to do it. So I did. He never reject it either, so.. it's all good.

I feel like I use him, but then I feel like I love him. I love him for being so into me, but I use him cause it's so easy. He does everything I ask. I literally just TOLD him to eat me out, and he fucking DID! What the eff? My friend called in the middle of it, but I told her I'll call her back. I accidentally came in his mouth. Which was embarrassing. He said it as gross but he didn't mind.

It was that good.

I take a while to cum indeed.

That means it must have been quite alright.

im out..

love me, hate me <3

I'll use you.

2009-07-10T23:21:00.000-07:00

if i dont really like you...

but i know you like me

i'll use you.

im like a queen bee... or whatever.

one of those insects who kill their partner for their own gain..

i think thats a praying mantis.

i will just use him up...

fck and leave... no real feeling, just the determination to be satisfied.

but i'll pretend that there's feeling for a while, until he feels certain that its for real...

then i'll tone it down.

why would you want more?

well whatever...

my prey hasnt called me in weeks... i even took the intiative to call HIM!!

what the fck is with me?

he promised me birthday sex...

our first REAL sexness....haha.

so im calling in order to remind him, im here waiting.

my bday's in a bit.

he better get at me, or i'll get it from someone else....i'll find a worthy candidate...

trust.

Lightskins

2009-07-01T02:39:00.000-07:00

So today me and my girls ran into some guy we knew..

I think hes cute.

I thought he liked me too, he really seemed to the first time we met. Well we didnlt really meet more like he was gazing at me from cross the room like... the fck?!

But yeah...

Then this m.fckn lighty gets in my way and strts putting her lightskinded charm on him.

like uhhh exsqueeezeeee me!

shes not even fine!

she really isnt something i'd stare at all fckn day n night.

it always boggles my mind on how she always gets the guys whenever we hit places. Ugh.

MAYBE I JUST HAVE HIGH STANDARDS.

Oh well.

maybe its cause she more outgoing.

I wish I could show you a pic of me so I can be like "am i ugly?"

he was so into me he was smiling with me and at me ad giving me that look... that "aww youre adorable i want to spend time with you at the park and take a walk look." that nice look...

Im going to stop looking for guys. ugh.... at the end of it all, he added everyone on FB cept me.

great.

I was sooooo into him.... ugh!!!!!! FCK THIS AND FCK LIGHTIES!

love me, hate me.

right about now...

2009-06-21T23:22:00.000-07:00

laying on my belly, on my bed.

wishin i had some jelly.

fo' reals

friend actin like she buggin, bitch think i dont have life.

actin like my wife.

i couldn't call her back, now she's fuckin actin wack like.

not answering my IMs not callin me..

not sendin me tweets just farrin me

away.

today.

was good.

today.

was great.

that bitch.

can hate.

she can box herself in a crate.

fo'real.

bitch triggas.

that was my "freestyle" LOL.

my ex-boyfriend called me to wake me up, and he told me about his "new look"

seems he's gone RETRO with it, he got a hawk and dyed it blond or something.

that shit only looks good on certain people. him, not being one of them, from my imagination.

Whatever.

fck. i kinda want to play around...

but can never find dudes to play around with...

im kind of bored of my ex... but i can never give him up.

he's like some sexual crack.

love me, hate me.

wastes.

2009-06-16T18:44:00.000-07:00

one thing i need to say right quick.

i hate motherfckn fake phony bitches who pretend to be your friend and then are bitches...

there's this motherfcker i know we'll call that fckn fakeass bitch EnCee, she is sucha fake ass bitch its kills me. she is one of those people who have a shit load of shit to say and then hates it when people talk shit about her.

i have always been there for that motherfckr.

then all of a sudden she starts actin a fool. well she was always actin like a complete fck up but i dealt with it. whatever she has this next friend, who is my friend to lets call her AyyEnn, who she treats better than everyone. she gives everyone hugs but me. and im always notifying her of the bullshit people say about her or her famz and shit.

whatever, she can fck right off.

i love how AyyEnn ditches her for me sometimes.

EnnCee can just fck right off.

i have most of my classes with her in grade 12.

fck.

whatever. fck her... her and her famsz are wack as fck.

i can't even get fully into it right now. i can't trust a damn soul right now... fck these muthafckn hoes fo' real like SHIT.

fakeass bitchass fckrs fo'real.

i let it be known, i don't play shitass games. i'm up front i dont treat like something you aren't. if i don't value you as a friend, im not gonna act as if i do. fck the wackass bitches, i won't act nice for someone who deserves the utmost beating in the face of their life.

shes so two-faced sometimes too.

fck them fo'real. she's no real friend.

i think i have a good three or four friends that i can trust and i am alright with that.

fckn people sometimes.

love me, hate me...

laying in my bed

2009-06-16T08:16:00.000-07:00

happy that for once i can just sleep in, no interruptions.

i wake up at like 5am every morning just to get to school.

i live pretty far too.

i leave the house at 7:25am and get to school at around 8:15am.

i drank some hot ginger tea and tummy felt better. so... yeah.

my friend sharz got me into blogging, she told me I don't have to talk about specific things... it can be just for me. so thats what im going to do. im not looking for followers, but she likes to promote her friends, kid cudi, and anything she thinks is good shit so.... i let her do her do.

i met her while we were working at the Gap together...

she and i would talk together on the way home from work, especially after the shipment shifts. we were at The Gap until like 1 AfckingM.

im in bed right now listening to my playlist and thinking of all the shit im going to have to do today..

clean my room
do my laundry
clean out my bag, since tuna sandwich was spilt in there and i forgot about it, its been three days so... ultimately, EW.
conjure up some new outfits... thats what i do.
apply to work online, again.

in relation to my last post, im not a hoe.

i have only done the things i have only done the things i have done with my ex... WITH my ex. when i saw other guys, i never took any piece of clothing off. i just saw them like, flirted abs mingled. a hickey or two, by two guys only. in my life.

im sort of boring when you think about it.

my first hickey was from a dude y friend was "talking" to, i didn't know they were talking, and no one told me. he thought i was cuter than her... haha. i mean...

that asshole. haha, okay im sorry, but i jut kind of find it amusing, as evil as it may sound.

anyway, when i found out they were talking i backed off him, and just didn't talk to him.

he hates me now i guess, but he still hugs me, he just talks shit about black people and pretends he dosen't hear me when i speak to him.

OKAY?....

its always an ego boost for me, when im called cute. its one thing to know you're cute... and another when someone calls you cute and can't keep their eyes off you.

second hickey doesn't need to be talked about... i was drunk.

it was good that i wasn't that drunk, cause no piece of clothing came off.

first hickey, me and my ex were ON.

second hickey, me and my ex were OFF.

i think i may just eat soon.

love me, hate me...

the dealio

2009-06-16T00:51:00.000-07:00

okay.

so basically my ex and i have been on and off for a year and some months.

i can' t let him go cause i feel as if he is the only male i will ever come across that will ever feel the strong mass of feelings that he seems to have for me.

on top of that...

he makes me feel good in more ways than one. he is willing to do whatever, and when he does it he does it pretty good. i have not really lost my virginity to him, however he did get it in until i told him to pull out. he cant fck me until he gets it wrapped. he seems to hate getting the wrapper on.

he has licked me up.

and in return i gave him head. at first i didnt want to, but i only found it fair.. so i did it the first time and i sucked.

the second time he said it was mind-blowing.

the third time, which was two weeks ago, was not as good as the second but better than the first.

he always gets better.

i loved him, but now i can tell im not on the same page as him anymore. i think our book of love is over, and now we're just w/e.

i dont want to see him anymore, but his voice is so captivating, deep and seductive.

when he tells me to take something off i do it right when he tells me to. it's like he hypnotizes me or something...

he called earlier and said he'd callback, but he didn't.

i suspect he sees other girls, but who cares? cause i do too.

well not girls. haha..

my feelings for him go up and down, sideways and all over.

fck my tummy is killing, and i just had my second extra-strength advil out of three.

love me, hate me...

fck.

2009-06-15T23:37:00.000-07:00

my tummy is killing me.

my ex. who i only use for sexual stimulation is starting to not express his need for me anymore.

im in so much pain, but im afraid to overdose on advil.

fck.

love me, hate me...